akita_ino

akita_ino @ 2009-10-22T21:14:00

2009-10-22T19:15:27Z

Title: The last Dance
Chapter: 2/?
Author: akita_ino
Rating: overall NC17
Warnings: AU, angst, deathfic, sex
Characters: Gazette boys (pairing soon to be revealed)
Disclaimers: this is a work of fiction, I claim nothing to be true (I hope it’s not true), I make no profit with this and don’t intend to (if you want to give me something out of charity, I take it :) me prefers cookies~)

Summary: Do you know what it feels like? For weeks Uruha hears the same sentence in his dreams and he doesn’t know what it means. Is there a meaning behind it or is he just stressed? He has problems with his job, there’s no money to pay the month’s rent and no solution in sight. Until his friend offers him something…

Notes: sorry for the bad English, I don’t have a beta and wasn’t able to find one. If someone offers, I’ll take it :) This fic was inspired by a play I saw and I hope I can capture some of the feelings I had while watching and thinking of this story.
This didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I think my bad English is at fault, but, well, I try. Without trying I can’t get better xD so forgive me my bad style and enjoy!

~~~~

After two days Uruha found a letter in his mail box. One without the sender written on it and obviously not sent trough normal mail. But Uruha was certain nobody would send him a bomb in a letter, he had no real enemies, just sometimes people he didn’t get along with very well, but that was no reason to kill him. So he opened the letter and found a paper saying he had a job to do. Signed with Matsumoto incorporated – Takanori Matsumoto.
Here was his job, finally something to look forward to. It surprised him how fast Kai had managed to arrange everything, just two days had passed. But that was always reliable Kai, if he set his mind on something he would accomplish it, no matter what. Uruha sometimes wished he had Kai’s determination, it probably would have made a big difference compared to his current life and situation. He would have made different decisions. At least he thought so, because Kai was still very successful in what he did, he didn’t need to worry about money or reputation, he was well known and respected for his work. Uruha had lost that status already.

But at least he could rely on his friend. He would do this job as good as possible, he would show this Takanori that hiring him was the best idea of his whole life. And with this he would become successful again; he would find other business partners and aim for the top. He wasn’t even 30 yet, there still were enough chances for him if he played his cards right this time. He would not get another chance, he knew this was the last opportunity.
So he made everything ready for the big day, he would meet the others at 3pm in the new Jefferson Building, 34th floor. He was supposed to bring his own equipment, the cameras and lights, the computer and the concept pictures for the new series. The pictures were for a fashion magazine, the topic was thunder and storm. Quite a nice theme, Uruha liked it. He didn’t know who he would take pictures of, so he was pretty curious about the model. He admired their work, it was so different from his own, but every model could show their personality through their body, the face and especially the looks. Before Uruha had started working as a photographer, he had been unaware of the possibilities models had to show their true self in pictures. In his imagination it had always been the photographer who could be seen through the pictures, showing a part of his true self and his artistic talent.
Now he knew better and every new model he met showed him how different people could be, even though they had the same career and the same job, every model was a fascinating individual.

He packed everything in his car at 1. The streets where packed, as always, but he reached his destination in time. He took everything with him into the elevator and waited for it to reach the right floor. His breath was coming faster, he wasn’t used to carrying his stuff around anymore, most of the time the equipment had been provided, but it was a nice change to use his own stuff again. It had been expensive after all. The building seemed quiet. The different floors were designed to hold many offices by different firms, but because the building was so new, it seemed that not many people worked here already. It was a nice feeling, quiet and calming. The city was always so loud and Uruha needed the change once in a while. He had even thought about renting a little house in the countryside, to have a place to flee to when the noise of the city threat to consume him.

When he reached his floor, everything was deadly silent. Uruha was a bit confused, usually a lot of people were running around on a photo shoot. The models, chattering about this and that, make up artist, director, assistants for light and setting, wardrobe, catering? Where were all this people? It was already 2.45, there had to be someone here. Uruha could see a light at the end of the hallway, the door to a room was open and there was light, but he couldn’t see or hear if someone was inside. Slowly he made his way over to the other end of the hall and peeked inside. The light was already set, the background done, there even was a table with make up and a mirror. But where was everyone?

Suddenly there was a sound, footsteps, coming from deep inside of the room. There was someone, but Uruha didn’t dare to raise his voice and ask who it was. He stayed at the open door, trying to hide and watched breathlessly.
And then he could see the other person. He did not know who was waiting for him, so it was a surprise to see a guy walking up in front of the table with the mirror. Even more a surprise was the fact that this man seemed to be doing his own make up. He looked finished, his hair was done, he was wearing clothes that screamed catwalk. So his model was male, okay, it wasn’t often that he had to take pictures of male models, he had more focused on female models in his career. But it was a nice change. Uruha was pretty sure he was also able to make male models look their best in his pictures.

This one seemed to be a bit special though. The hair was done pretty wild, standing up in every direction, held together by tons of spray and gel, the light was reflected by it, making it sparkle in every shades of color possible. It was a fantastic sight; it made Uruha feel a little out of place with his more than ordinary clothes, more than ordinary hair style, more than ordinary personality. This guy seemed to be special, not just in appearance. Uruha could feel his aura, pride and confidence rolling off of him in waves. Each hit Uruha stronger than the previous.
It had been years since he had felt so nervous before a job. He decided to watch the other a little bit longer before he showed himself. He couldn’t deny that he felt drawn to him, also physically. Usually Uruha fell for American girls, he liked their blond hair, their light eyes and their unique sense of humor. They were independent, confident in what they were doing and also very successful in their jobs.

Sometimes he tried to deny it, but he needed a strong partner, someone who was able to handle pressure and failures and could still stand proud and strong in every situation. Of course he had also met Asian and African girls and tried to make their relationship work, but especially the Asian girls were not to his liking. But he had never been together with an Asian man. And he couldn’t deny that he was interested in this one.
He stood just there, watching this man and his unusual appearance, which appealed to him, very much. His hair seemed neither light nor dark, it depended on the light falling from a certain angle, sometimes it looked brown, sometimes blond, sometimes he was even sure to see some black streaks. For more than a minute the other completed his make up, not showing Uruha his face, only back and a little view of his side. But of course it was the face Uruha grew more and more impatient to see.

Deciding he had hid himself long enough from the other, he stepped forward, smiling and friendly. “Hello. Sorry for taking a little. I’m Uruha Takashima.”, he said friendly, taking some steps closer to the mysterious man in front of him.
Said man turned around, to look at him. Uruha watch him fascinated, for some seconds he even stopped breathing. He was breathtakingly beautiful, manly but with a touch of femininity Uruha had never seen in any man before. It added to his beauty. Coal rimmed eyes looked at him with a touch of curiosity, but at the same time Uruha felt as if the other man recognized him, as if he had met him before. But Uruha couldn’t remember anything, he had never met this man before.
“No, I am sorry, I was a little early and decided to prepare everything already so we could start right away.”, the other said, smiling just a tiny bit.

Uruha felt uneasy. He held his gaze, but found himself playing with the strap of his bag. Never had he seen someone with darker eyes, they seemed so dark, so very black and deep that Uruha felt shivers running down his spine. The other just smiled at him, perfect teeth showing between his lips. It amazed Uruha how good the other’s English was, no hint of accent audible. Was he also American?
“Sorry if I’m being rude, but your English is perfect. I was expecting someone with, well, a little accent when speaking English.”, he admitted.
The other laughed. “No, I’m not American. I’m full Japanese, but I decided early it could only help me if I tried my best at English. I also speak French and Spanish.”, he said with his deep and vibrating voice, so different from Uruha’s own.
He was sure the amazement was visible in his eyes. Uruha didn’t even speak Korean or Japanese, despite his parent’s origin. And now in front of this other man he felt embarrassed.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel embarrassed.”, he said quickly, as if sensing Uruha’s distress. “You are also Japanese right? I like your eyes.”
He blushed. Who wouldn’t if such a gorgeous man made you a compliment? “Thank you. I was born here, so I don’t understand any Japanese, sorry.”, he laughed to cover his insecurity.
“残念だ.”, the other answered smiling.
Of course Uruha understood nothing, but he liked the sound of it, this other language had a smooth sound to it, a flow Uruha liked and it suited the other even better than his already perfect English had. But he tried to focus again, he couldn’t keep standing here, admiring the other for his looks or voice, they had a job to do and it was surely past 3 already, so where were the others?
“Sorry, but shouldn’t the other people be around already? Don’t we have to start shooting?”, he asked.

The other looked at him, puzzled. “There are no others.”, he finally said, the little smile on his lips again. “I see, you got no real information about this before, right?”, again he laughed, but not mocking, only a little playful.
He was also very polite, Uruha decided. He must be a clever, well educated man, surely one like Kai was, a rich family and respected heritage. To answer him, he just shook his head. He really hadn’t received any information. Just the place and time and what he had to bring. Nothing about his team or money. But he was dealing with Matsumoto after all. Such famous persons didn’t talk about details, they wanted something done, so they instructed someone else to do it, it should be their responsibility. Uruha had thought the same. He would come here and somebody else would give him the details. But they couldn’t be supposed to be doing everything just by themselves, right? It sounded a bit ridiculous, but nobody else was inside and everything was prepared already, make up, clothes, hair, setting, light, so it really seemed to be true.

“Is really nobody else coming?”, he asked a little nervous.
The other shook his head. “No, it will just be the two of us. I did most of the work already. As you can see, I’m capable of doing my own make up and hair.”, he didn’t sound proud, he was just stating a fact.
And Uruha had to admit, he had done a pretty nice job with it. He was sure even without make up he looked good, but with he looked stunning. As the other laughed suddenly and mouthed a smirking ‘thank you’, he realized he had mused out loud. Instantly he blushed and cleared his throat.
“Thank you for the compliment. Do I really make you that nervous? You look flushed.”, he stated, looking Uruha directly into his eyes, probing, searching, but only curious about the truth. He didn’t seem to be making fun of Uruha’s sudden tension.
“No, it’s just…”, he started, but wasn’t sure how to explain it without sounding too much like a school girl. “I’m just very impressed by your impression. Usually I just do shoots for normal fashion magazines, you know, girls in high heels and short skirts, swinging design leather bags and wearing enormous glasses. I wasn’t really prepared for… this.”

And that was the truth. The other also seemed to believe him. He nodded and then turned around to go to the wall, where the lightning was set upon. It was a dark wall, with lots of scribbling done to it. The light was also dark and scattered. It was the right atmosphere for the dark clothes and make up, it gave him a mysterious aura, he seemed to be glowing from within in the dark environment.
“Should we start?”, the other suggested and took his place before the wall. He stood there, waiting for Uruha to say or do something.
Uruha was sure he knew how to pose, how to show the right expression with his eyes, smile, body, but he looked like he was waiting for something from the other, like he should decide the feeling of the pictures and everything. And Uruha knew what to make out of this photos. The scenery seemed incredibly familiar, like he had seen the whole scene with himself and the other somewhere already. But he wasn’t sure where or if. Maybe from a movie.

He took his camera and took his place before the wall, looking at it some seconds through his camera. He decided to use another lens, one that would filter out the red of the light, to make everything bluer afterwards. It would also make him appear more unreal, dreamlike. That would be a wonderful setting for the pictures.
“Let’s imagine, you are in someone else’s dream, you are the storm in his dreams, you haunt him, you keep him awake even though he is sleeping, you consume his whole being, make him unable to be himself again, you show him everything dark about himself, you bring death and sorrow to him, but you make him believe you are resurrection, your are the god he has been waiting for in his life.”, he said loud, giving the right directions for the other.
He couldn’t really stop himself anymore, he suddenly knew what he wanted to make out of this, what he wanted to see, needed to see and feel. It was crystal clear, in his mind he already had the exact image of everything. He rather felt it than saw it, there was just one way to do this and he would make his model do it.

Strangely the other just smiled at his directions, turned around once, breathed deeply, showing Uruha his back. When he turned around again, the air froze between them. His face was a perfect mask, betraying no emotion and missing it’s former humanity. He became the image in Uruha’s mind, the dark knight, beautiful, deadly, the lord himself who came down to take the sinner with him, showing him kindness to lure him into doom. Uruha felt intoxicated, the tension between them was thick, cold, his camera clicked and clicked, he couldn’t stop himself, every motion was captured, every angle, every turn of his head, his hands, his body. He was lost in his pictures, taking more than one every second while the image in his head grew stronger, clearer and without even voicing his wishes, his model followed his thoughts perfectly, every turn Uruha made him do in his mind, he took perfectly before him. It felt like mere seconds, and then his film was already full. Hastily he changed it and took even more pictures. He could sense something coming from the other, a cold chill and even though he was the one behind the camera, he felt observed, he couldn’t shake off that feeling.

He became one with the other, he felt his emotions, the darkness that had grown stronger in his expression and movements. It felt like a total different person in front of him, watching, mocking him with venomous smiles and dark eyes. Uruha wasn’t in charge anymore, he felt played with, toyed, made everything the way someone else wanted it to be. Automatically he pressed his camera, every click grew more distant, until there was no sound anymore, anywhere. Still, the image in his mind grew stronger, more defined, before his eyes reality and image became one. The slim hands, the slender hips, the man before him was perfect, breathtakingly beautiful and suddenly disturbingly familiar to Uruha.

Before he could really grasp it, it was over. The other turned around again, took some deep breathes and left his place. He took some steps towards Uruha, who lowered his camera and looked at him puzzled.
“We can’t be finished yet! It was perfect, we need more!”, Uruha insisted desperately. He turned to him, grabbed his shoulder. “What is wrong? We had the perfect connection! How often does that happen? You did exactly what I wanted!” He searched his eyes, trying to convince him to do another round.
But the other just smiled, brushed of his hand softly. “I am finished.”, he said calmly, turning around and taking off his rings. “You might not want to hear it and I’m sorry if I anger you with my words, but I have a lot more experience than you do. So I can make every photographer have that connection with me.”, he said unaffected, suddenly much more unfriendly and colder than before. “I think it was the other way around. You did, what I wanted and that was perfect.”, he turned around a little and smiled. “We’re done, you can go. I guess they will mail you about the pictures, you probably have to send them by mail. Bye!”, he waved a little, smiled again and then left.

Dumbfounded Uruha watched him leave, the rings left on the table. Everything was still the same, nobody was here to clean up, he was just thrown out of this place by some vain prick. There really was no justice! How could this guy be this way? First he had been nice, admiringly friendly and polite. At least Uruha had thought so. He had been wrong. How mad he was at himself for it. He should have known, seen this coming, in his early years he had been the same, arrogant and greedy, mean to everyone around him. And this guy seemed no different from Uruha’s self some years ago.
Sighing he packed his camera away, put the films into their bags and gathered all of his things. There was nothing left here, waiting was useless, he had experienced enough. But still, it had been a good decision to come here. He had gained a lot, he knew again what this business could make out of you, how it could transform you and make you a horrible person. Uruha would not let himself become like that again.

Once he had done the same, he had been a horrible friend, especially to Kai and now he refused to let this lifestyle consume him again. He had no justification to become arrogant again. He would do everything in his power to stay the person he was now. And hopefully Kai would also appreciate the effort.
He was on the edge of leaving, when he turned around again once more and looked at the table with the rings the other had left. Before he hadn’t noticed a magazine lying there. But now he watched it closely, and realized that the other was on the cover of that magazine. Why would someone take around his own magazines? But mysteriously Uruha felt drawn to the picture, there was something about it, it looked a little like the pictures he had taken today with the other. But why? Well, obviously the idea wasn’t new. Others had also thought of the same setting, the dark atmosphere, the smoky make up and rock-clothes.

It suited him perfectly. It really provoked Uruha’s curiosity, so he grabbed the magazine and opened it. The first page was of the other, standing in front of a building, the wall was dark, the bricks looked old, with little holes everywhere. Maybe from bullets? He turned the page and was suddenly confronted with another person standing beside him in front of the wall. He had the same height, his eyes were equally dark and promising. He was smirking, his longer black hair fell down his shoulders, wavy and smooth. One warm was draped other the other’s shoulder, their bodies pressed close together. Both were looking his direction, the black haired one smiling faintly, promising, sensual, his shirt was open, showing his chest and one pink nipple. The other looked at him faintly, showing no smile or emotion, he was cool, dark, a little annoyed it seemed at somebody else. Possession, property, Uruha could see it in his eyes, directed at the black haired one, showing clearly in the way his arm was held around the black haired’s waist. This were real feelings in the pictures, they weren’t acting. The feeling grew stronger in Uruha, as the seconds ticked by. A lover would hold someone else like that, not just a colleague.

He turned the page. Again a picture of the two beauties. This time the black haired one had his back turned to the viewer, his arms around the neck of the other, his body pressing tightly against the other. His head was turned slightly, eyes closed, his lips parted a tiny bit. The other had one arm around his waist, holding him right above his bottom, the fingers playing with the short shirt. He looked over his shoulder right at Uruha. The sexual tension was thick and tangible through the picture, Uruha shuddered for a second. The background had changed a little and looked now even more like the one in the room. But that wasn’t possible.
He thought about putting the magazine down again and leaving finally. But something kept him from doing it. The two appeared to be the perfect couple, passionate and mystical in every picture, with every move they took in the pictures. It was something Uruha had never seen before, especially not in a fashion magazine. They were two men and so close to each other, a little bit too close for such a normal magazine. Was that possible in Japan? In America it would never be allowed. This thought was so interesting, so intriguing for Uruha, who had always tried to be as unsuspicious as possible when dealing with boys he liked.

Exited he turned the page again. This picture was so different than the ones before, but at the same time it had the same atmosphere as the previous ones. He couldn’t stop starring at the third person in the picture, the other two nearly forgotten. He felt a strong connection to this person, even though he couldn’t see his face. His back was turned to the camera, the other stood at his sides, both had their arms around him. The black one was pressed against his side, his lips close to his neck, slightly parted, the tip of his tongue could be seen, ready to dash forward and lick the pale skin. The other one stood at the other side, one hand had grabbed his arm, the other was tangled in his partner’s hair.
The one in the middle seemed to be the possession of the other two, they held him between them. Uruha couldn’t see his face, but imagined it being passionate, satisfied, being loved by the two beauties must be a wonderful feeling.

Wherever the thought came from, Uruha knew this picture, he had seen it somewhere already. He felt being pulled into the picture, into the three men standing there. The black haired one watched him closely, Uruha thought he saw him moving for a second, showing his tongue and licking his lips inviting. The one on the right, his model from some minutes ago, watched him intensely, aggressive and powerful. But, and that surprised Uruha, he wasn’t the one in charge. Even though he held the hair of the man in the middle in his fist, this one seemed to be the one controlling it. Uruha wished he could see his face, but he could only see his back, not even a little of his face, just his hair. Equally black as the one’s on the left. But more strands fell down his back, it was long, soft, like silk. His body was slim, even slimmer than the others, his hips, moving sensually to the right.
The wish to become part pf their private party became stronger and stronger in Uruha, whoever the other two in the picture were. And even though his acquaintance today had seemed everything but friendly and nice, he couldn’t deny being drawn to all three of them physically.

Another page turned, another picture revealed. There was a big picture of the model he had taken pictures off today, his name right under it in big black letters. Reita. What kind of name was that? Surely it couldn’t be his real name. But on the page were nothing but unknown symbols. This was a Japanese magazine, he couldn’t read anything. So what were the names of the other two? He scanned the two pages quickly, but found nothing. It seemed the other two were not as famous, they had just accompanied him.
He wasn’t getting desperate, but he needed a clue, something that showed him who the other two were. He wanted to know. Something in him screamed that he needed to know their names. He turned the page again, the interview was finished now it seemed, but on this page was a small little picture of the two dark haired beauties, the taller one, the one from the middle was again facing the camera with his back, his head slightly turned, his lips were visible, but everything else was covered by his ebony colored hair. His left hand was pressed against the wall, his black nails reflected the light on them, they glittered in blue and grey, right beside the head of the other one, who was leaning against the wall, legs spread, inviting the other to come closer. The one in front of him had his hand on his hip and was drawing closer to his body.

It struck Uruha like a lightning, he knew this picture, there was no doubt about it. Suddenly he remembered the dreams that had left him alone the past two days, the same sight had been in his head several times. The man with his back turned to him, but never really visible, just parts of him and his lips had murmured the same words every time. This was the man from his dreams, it had to be him. There was the same aura about him Uruha had felt while dreaming. It was dark, erotic, mysterious, intoxicating. Lightly he traced the picture with his fingers. But still no name. Who was he? And how could Uruha get closer to him?
No, he didn’t believe in fate and destiny, it was purely by chance that his dreams matched reality like this. He would call Kai again and ask about this Reita, Kai would surely find some information and he also should be able to find out about the other two.

Quickly he stuffed the magazine in his bag and fled the scene.

akita_ino @ 2009-10-20T03:18:00

2009-10-20T01:41:12Z

Title: The last Dance
Chapter: 1/?
Author: akita_ino
Rating: overall NC17
Warnings: AU, angst, deathfic, sex
Characters: Gazette boys (pairing soon to be revealed)
Disclaimers: this is a work of fiction, I claim nothing to be true (I hope it’s not true), I make no profit with this and don’t intend to (if you want to give me something out of charity, I take it :) me prefers cookies~)

Summary: Do you know what it feels like? For weeks Uruha hears the same sentence in his dreams and he doesn’t know what it means. Is there a meaning behind it or is he just stressed? He has problems with his job, there’s no money to pay the month’s rent and no solution in sight. Until his friend offers him something…

Notes: sorry for the bad English, I don’t have a beta and wasn’t able to find one. If someone offers, I’ll take it :) This fic was inspired by a play I saw and I hope I can capture some of the feelings I had while watching and thinking of this story.
Sorry for the long and boring first chapter, but it’s the introduction of the first characters and the start of a chain of events essential for the rest of the fic. Don’t blink or you might miss the hints xD sorry… enjoy!

~~~~

Do you know what it feels like?
For days, weeks even, it had been the same exact sentence, always the same words and the same that asked him. He didn’t know who was asking him this question, what it was about, how he should answer, if he should answer. Not even what this person was referring to. But that was okay. Dreams didn’t need to make sense and for several weeks his clearly didn’t make any. At first it was just a little hindrance in his daily routine, he would wake up from the same dream three days in a row, but that was nothing to be worried about. It was never the exact same dream, that would have been too weird, but the dreams always seemed to be connected, like one continued where the other had stopped or one was a second version of another one some days ago. It was surreal, something he had never experienced before and was not too keen on to experience once again. That was at least what he told himself, when he woke up in the middle of the night, the eyes, the voice, the black hair still present in his mind. Why was it always the same person? Why always the same words?

He couldn’t find any meaning behind it. He did not know the person in his dreams and well, even if he did, how should he identify him? That much was clear, the voice in his head was male, but he never saw a full face or even a real body, just glimpses. Sometimes a hand, strands of hair, an eye, lips forming the words he spoke, but never the whole picture. How should he know what this person looked like, who he was? First he thought it might be someone from his work, one of the clients he had taken photos off for his last commission, but he couldn’t remember anyone who had looked even a little bit similar to this person. It might have been someone from a TV show, that was possible, but he never watched much television anyway and he would remember someone who left such a strong impression on him. He surely would.

First the dreams had been just a hindrance, but now they kept coming every night, even in the day when he was taking a nap or he dozing off in the train on his way to work and it was taking control over his life. What had happened to him and his existence? Every morning he woke up with the same thoughts running through his head, he could not eat breakfast without asking himself the same things over and over again, he saw this man every time he closed his eyes, when he looked into water for more than two seconds, he was going crazy. Without even knowing who was driving him to it. It felt like it. Never in his life had his thoughts been this dominated by one person, he was sure even when he was a baby he didn’t think about his mother as much as he thought about this man now. Even the people he had loved hadn’t been on his mind constantly. It was a new experience.

And the problem was, he wasn’t as angry about as he should be given the circumstances. His dreams were never violent or scary, just unreal, like dreams tended to be. Sometimes he looked forward to them, the challenge to figure out this man’s identity kept in mind. It was a game, a puzzle, one he wanted to solve. Never had he been confronted with such a challenge, not that he could remember and he wanted to prove, if only to himself, that he was able to work out a problem this difficult. He hadn’t told his friends about the dreams. Not that he had many friends to begin with, but even the closest didn’t know about the mysterious man haunting his dreams. He wanted to keep him to himself. And once he found out this guy, the meaning behind all of this, he would search him, find him and tell him. He would show him that would’ve been better not to play with him the way he had. This was no coincidence. This was on purpose, surely. And this man was the reason behind it, the one pulling the strings and controlling his life throughout his dreams.

He did not believe in fate. There was no thing as fate, destiny, fortune, whatever mankind had made up to control the people of their period. These words didn’t exist for him, there was no greater good and evil in the world, everything was the doing of an individual, sometimes more than one. And if you found the origin of something, you could stop it, whatever it was. Just eliminate the source. He didn’t call it a philosophy, but it was his way of thinking and how he managed his life. At least most of the time. Recently there were problems with his landlord. He hadn’t been able to pay his rent the last month and had borrowed some money from a friend. The loans weren’t the problem, but he was short again this month. His clients hadn’t paid the last assignment. He didn’t know how to fix this. He had called them every day for a week. Nothing. And now? He couldn’t borrow more money from his friend, he was too embarrassed about the whole thing. The first time too, but there had been no other choice. And now he had to search for another option, find something to get money from to earn enough for his rent. He couldn’t leave this place. He had moved in one year ago and now it was totally his realm.

His cameras, the darkroom for his films, the frames and pictures on every wall, it was all his doing, all his money he had used to make this apartment his, to show his personality and to get a professional working place. And even if he moved out, he still would have to pay this month’s rent. It didn’t matter if it was personal crisis or just general, economic crisis that caused his problems, they were there now and he was searching for a way to solve this problem.

It had just turned 11 as he sat down on his couch, turned on the TV and opened the newspaper of the day and flipped through the pages. Nothing too much interesting, at least not for him. He wasn’t interested in stockings and the general market situation, even though it proved his suspicion that economy was crashing down much faster than anyone had foreseen. It was a bad time for everyone. Still he felt a little sorry for himself to be born in this time. He sighed, closed the paper again and focused on television. War and crime was in every country. Countries he had never heard of before and never wanted to hear something about again. Other people’s misfortune made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to deal with other people’s problems. He had enough to do with his own. But something caught his interest. Not because it was really interesting, nothing new, but again more and more sects had formed in Japan in the last years, everyone talking of the Last Judgment and trying to deny god’s existence in the world and it was funny to see sects gaining power, while denying the one thing that gave them power over their believers. Without god, there was no real believe in his opinion.

But it was something to entertain him every once in a while. It was Monday again. Still nothing to do. He had written so many letters to magazines and agencies, but none had been returned yet. He wasn’t getting desperate, not yet, but slowly he could feel the walls getting closer. He needed a commission. The sooner the better. So he did what he always did, when there was nothing to do. He organized his office again, looked through all his photos and arranged them new. He also made a new sedcard, which he sent to the magazines and agencies to show his skills, as application. Every time he did this he thought he had found pictures to show his skills better and that he surely would be successful this time. But he had yet to be right. Today was also a bad day because it was raining outside; the rain was loud against the glass of the windows and life seemed even more boring and pointless than on a sunny day. Television bored him, even though it had been able to distract him for some minutes. Now what should he do? A shower seemed the best idea. Under the soothing fall of warm water he had the best ideas, he could distract himself from everything that bothered him.

On the way to his bathroom his doorbell rang. No time for a shower, at least not yet. It was still early, so it probably was only the postman, bringing new letters with advertisements and maybe something from his bank. Just some weeks ago he had taken all the money from his account. The bank might be complaining now about the empty account, which was probably below zero at the moment. But there was no use crying over spilled milk. He went to his door, opened it for his guest and smiled immediately at the person before him.
“Sir, might it be that you took the wrong door?” he said smiling and let the other inside.
“You know Sir, I really might be wrong, I thought a friend of mine was living here, but when I look at you sir, and I hope you take no offense in that, you look more like the fading reflection of the man I call my friend.” He smiled also, going with the joke.
They had been friends for a long time already and nothing ever had come between them, not woman or cars, fame, money, they still remained the same. And that was something Uruha was glad about. After college, in college it had already started, friends had dumped him pretty harshly for other friends, better friends with more money and more status. But his true friend had always remained and for that he was still grateful.

After college, where he had been a nobody without a secure home because of his constant fights with his father, which resulted in him running away from home and refusing money from his mom, who was so desperate and worried about him, so the only money he had was from different part time jobs, he had started a promising career as photographer. Soon he had earned a lot of money, gained more friends and the status of a VIP in his business. He had felt like a rock star, just without the music. At least for some time. Soon others had come and he had been a small fish in a big glass again. But even after these years without contact, he had turned back to his old friend and he had still been welcome.
“What is the purpose of your visit today?”, he asked as they went through the hall, into the living room and made themselves comfortable on the big couch and chair in front of the television.
First his friend remained still, just looked at him smiling and grabbed the newspaper from the table in front of him. “I assume you haven’t read the last pages of the newspaper yet.”, he said, turned the newspaper around and continued without waiting for an answer. He knew the answer anyway, in this point his friend hadn’t changed over the years. The newspaper was interesting, yeah, for the first 5 pages maybe. “You see, Shinstar Dynamics is losing its investors pretty rapidly. The stocks are going down at the speed of light. It’s a massacre. Do you now what is going on at the stock exchange? They want to sell everything as soon as possible, nobody wants to keep it, and therefore it’s losing value every second.”, he said and looked kind of flustered.

“I know Shinstar Dynamics and I know the products pretty well, but why would I need to know that?”, Uruha asked a little confused. He didn’t know what his friend was referring to.
“You have always been a little dense, but that’s okay. Like you should know, my father makes his money in the same business and has always favored Shinstar products. He used them in his stores. Around 73% of everything he sold was produced by Shinstar.”, his friend told him again. And yeah, at that moment he remembered it, of course he knew his friend’s family quite well, but he hadn’t been in contact with them for years, it should be normal and understandable to forget such details. But his friend didn’t seem to be offended by his words.
“Does that mean your father has problems now because he lost his business partner?”, he asked.
“Well, it’s not easy to find a new company in such a short time. He still has a lot of Shinstar products, but he can’t sell them anymore. The problem is that the boss of Shinstar seems to be involved in some very interesting trades with other companies and he probably bribed some people in the government. But nothing official has been released yet.”, his friend said in a low voice and seemed far off with his thoughts for a second.
“Bad news for you, hm?”, he asked. He didn’t really know what to do; he had never been good at comforting people, especially not his friends. Usually they knew how to take care of themselves and managed every possible situation just fine without help.

“But, you know”, he suddenly started again after some minutes of silence. “I think dad will manage it. Other companies are trying to fill Shinstar’s place and make profit out of the situation. So every former partner of Shinstar should be able to find a suitable substitute. That is how it has always been.” He said now smiling again and with that the topic was closed for the moment.
It seemed strange to Uruha that his friend had even started with this topic if he didn’t really want to talk about it. But that was typical of his friend. Sometimes it was for himself too. They were men, they talked about some things, but not about other things, especially not if emotions were involved. But he would ask again later, his friend seemed troubled by the news and there was probably more behind it than just a little concern for his dad’s business. That was obvious. At the other hand he did not want to pres the issue. He wasn’t that interested in his friend’s private life, sometimes you had to respect borders and not cross them.
“And what else brings you to my doorstep on this lovely Monday?”, he asked to change the topic.
“Oh yeah, I forgot!”, he said with new enthusiasm. “The real surprise about the whole Shinstar affair is that a new group announced that they would take over Shinstar’s business. And not just the main production, everything. In the next 2 years they want to invest a total of 500 million dollars to preserve jobs and pay back the dept of Shinstar.”

That was a real surprise. Which company would do that? And why? It was clear that Shinstar had serious problems right now. Not just with money, their image was not the best anymore and why would a company spent that much money to keep another company alive? Especially one like Shinstar, which obviously had some affairs with the mafia and interference with politics.
“Why would another company do that? And where did you hear that? Are you sure your information is right?”, Uruha asked. He was curious about this deal. He might have some problems with money, his business was not taking the economic crisis very well, but it seemed in other branches business was as usual. “In these times, what company can afford to invest that much money?”
“Well…”, his friend said smiling. “There is only one with the needed money and the manager to dare something like that. Matsumoto incorporated.”
How well he knew that name. One of the biggest companies in East Asia, probably the biggest outside of Europe and America. But why would a Japanese company take over an American one with a bad image? Of course, had Shinstar been just an ordinary company that lost it’s money and became bankrupt, then it would be totally understandable for a foreign company to take over their business. But Shinstar wasn’t an ordinary company, not anymore. It was a great risk in such a situation, one Uruha himself would have never dared to take. And he knew about the business, he had majored in business economics and management. And his friend had too. Now it was clear what this visit was about.

“I mean, that’s big news. Why would Matsumoto do something like that? Their business is doing great, last year they had a plus of 19%, that’s enormous these days, you know that. Why risk everything with this deal?” He didn’t really know what to make out of this behavior. Was nobody concerned for the company’s future? They had been doing great so far and now? What would happen to them now? Reputation, status were still very important in Asian culture and in American culture too, if even just a small thing went wrong, they might lose everything and disappear.
“You know, Matsumoto senior has always been that way, he never took any risks and stayed in his fields, with his people. He is a typical Japanese man of his time. Or should I say ‘was’”, said his friend and in that instant knew what had happened. And he was surprised his own father hadn’t called him already.
“You mean his son has…?”
“Yeah, he has taken over. Matsumoto Takahiro passed away. It was a heart attack, when he attended one of his meetings with his business partners. That was one month ago. And now you see why everything happened the way it did.”
Now everything made sense. What he had thought before was wrong, totally wrong. Matsumoto incorporated was now led by the son of the founder, Matsumoto Takanori and that meant a lot of trouble for Uruha. Not really trouble, but his dad would call him soon and demand to take his life seriously at last and try to enter the new company, which would form out of Matsumoto and Shinstar. There was no doubt his friend had come to tell him that and maybe rescue him from his fate. Because in his current situation, he couldn’t say no to his father much longer. He had no money and if he didn’t earn some soon, he would have to ask him for money and his dad would surely play his cards well in that situation. Because of this news his friend had come to him, Uruha was sure of it.

“And you came to rescue me, right?”, he asked hopefully, looking at his friend, already a little desperation visible in his eyes. “You didn’t go to law school for nothing, right? There has to be a way out? My father can’t trick me into this!”
“You underestimate your father, Uruha. He already called me and wanted to make sure I told you again what he expects of you. I’m not a fan of him either, you know that, but you have to look at your situation. How much longer can you keep going? I already gave you money last month. You are my friend and I would do anything to help you, but you are not the only one who has bills to pay.”, his voice was sad and it was clear how much he wanted to help Uruha, but was unable to now. He also had his own apartment and because of his job he had to travel a lot for his company, he didn’t have the time to stay at Uruha’s side and help him with his problems. His friends family was rich, Uruha’s wasn’t. But both of their dads expected a lot of their sons.
His friend continued without paying real attention to Uruha. He didn’t say it to hurt him but to inform him of his options. “You know what your father sacrificed your years in college. He made your scholarship possible, without it you wouldn’t have been able to go to college. Well, at least not the one we went to and you know that.”
“Of course I know that! But I thought I had paid him back already by taking over the loan for his house after I finished college. He got a lot of money from me and that was all he ever wanted! He wanted me to be famous, so he could have a nice life with my money!”, Uruha was getting louder, he was furious and still angry at his father. For years he had treated him bad, especially after Uruha had informed him of his wish to become a photographer. For years they had refused to speak with each other.

“You are both bullet heads and you can’t deny that it would have been better to make up years ago when your mother was still alive. At least for her sake. Or mine. I’m the one who has to put up with your shit every time you decide to launch an attack at your dad. Or when he does the same to you. I’m tired of it.”, he said calmly, but also a bit louder than before.
And Uruha knew he was right. He wasn’t really mad at his father anymore, he loved him of course, but they never got along very well, because they were so different. Uruha was more a younger version of his mother. She had been an artist, had studied art history and worked at a museum. She had been very friendly and forgiving towards her son and when he decided he wanted to be a photographer, she had encouraged him to live his dream. Of course silently, so his dad wouldn’t notice it.
His dad on the other hand had been furious with him. A photographer was not what his dad had wanted him to be. In his eyes Uruha should have been a businessman, just like himself. Run a small company by himself or work for a big one and make it to the top there. That had been his father’s dream.
“Uruha… you know your dad loves you. Maybe you should give it a try? I mean, you are clever, you graduated top of the whole state, that’s not bad, they would surely hire you. Why-“
“Because I don’t want to!”, he said in a serious voice. “Why would I now enter a company? I’m nearly 30, I know what I want to do and it’s not what my father expects of me. I’m sorry if that causes him grief, but it’s my decision. It was never his, even though he might think it was.” And with that it was final. He would stand up for his life and not do what other people wanted him to do. He was stubborn, yes, he knew that, but he considered it one of his better traits of character. He could live with being called stubborn. He cast a glance at his friend, but after one second looked at the wall again. He was sorry, his friend just wanted to help him and he appreciated the effort, but there was nothing to discuss anymore, his decision was final and everyone else would have to live with that. His friend, his family. And he would need to find a way to earn money again, to show them he was capable of taking care of himself.
His friend laughed a little, settled against the armrest. He looked more than pleased, which caused Uruha to stare at him confused.
“What’s so funny about that?”
“I had hoped you wouldn’t back down. The Uruha I met at college would never do what other people told him. Well, I’m an exception to that rule of course.”, he laughed again and Uruha couldn’t stop himself from smirking.
Yeah, that was Kai, always the clever one, the little evil one with the face of an angle. You could never trust him. And Uruha loved that about him.

“Asshole.”, he said smirking, reached over and punched his friend playfully. “I nearly had a heart attack.”
“I would never betray you like that. I was very close to tell your father to fuck himself. But my good manners kept me from doing it. And he would have called my dad. But yeah, that’s not the point. You know you have problems and you need help, because no way in hell you would be able to earn the money you need right now. But here’s your friend to the rescue!”, he exclaimed with a pleased expression.
Uruha though wasn’t so sure about that yet. “You need to tell me more than that. I know that I need help, but how do you plan to help me with my little financial problem?”
“Oh, that’s easy. Remember when I was in Princeton? Well, I didn’t tell you everything about the six months I spent there.”, Kai said mysteriously, a small smile still on his lips.
Uruha looked at him more confused than ever. “I remember your research project you did in Princeton.”
“I told you that I met Takanori Matsumoto there, right?”
“Yes, you did. That’s why my dad is trying to convince you to help me get into the company, because he thinks you might be able to help a little. But it’s been years since you met him there, he wouldn’t remember you.”, Uruha said, shaking his head.

“Your dad is right. I’m still in contact with Takanori. To be exact, I screw him.” These casually spoken words made Uruha speechless for nearly a minute. He didn’t know what to say to that, had he even heard right? He looked at his friend for some seconds, searching his face for something suspicious. He probably shouldn’t believe him, Kai was known for his jokes and tricks sometimes, but he had already tricked Uruha with the talk about his dad, he wouldn’t do it twice in such a short time, right? And not with such a topic.
“Are you serious?
Kai nodded. “Yes, I am. Well, how should I put this… when we both where at Princeton, he wanted to be my friend. You know he is very clever and graduated at only 19. At that time he was only 17 and very insecure of himself. He didn’t speak English very well, so he desperately wanted some Asian friends to talk to and hang out with. He wasn’t familiar with American culture yet.”
Uruha listened carefully. He couldn’t really understand why their conversation had taken such a turn. It was not the problem of Kai being involved with another guy, both men had confessed at an early time of their friendship that they would also go for guys. But why this one? He had seen pictures of Takanori Matsumoto, he wasn’t bad looking, but he was very short and seemed really shy and immature for his age. He was now 23, he should be able to make decisions for himself. And now that his father was dead, he had to manage a company.
“So of course he decided I would be a good friend for him too. My name and all. He didn’t know I was born in America and already a third generation and when he started talking to me in Japanese, I understood nothing. Still, we got along, kind of; it was hard because we couldn’t really understand each other but soon I noticed his interest in me and so we played around the remaining months. And he still likes me and keeps contact.”

“If that is true, why are you not entering his company? If there is still something going on between you two.”, Uruha asked. At least it would be the thing he would think about first. He wasn’t a bad person, if feelings were involved, he would never consider it. But Kai didn’t seem to be in love. “Wouldn’t your dad be happy? Kai Yutaka Uke fucking Takanori Matsumoto-new business dream-couple.”, Uruha mused aloud.
In return Kai laughed so hard some tears build in his eyes, which he whipped away quickly. “He wouldn’t be happy. But it has its benefits to fuck the now manager of such a big company. He is still a child and he doesn’t see what he will cause with this Shinstar deal. I didn’t say anything to him. He will make his mistakes by himself and stand up for it, sooner or later.”, he shrugged.
No, Kai was not in love with Takanori, that was obvious and Uruha was glad about it. Most of the time your feelings made you weak and vulnerable. In this business you couldn’t afford to provide somebody with a target.
“And I will help you. Because of Takanori’s little fancy I will ask him to hire you for his next collection. Did you know Matsumoto has a fashion branch? No? Thought so. I didn’t know until he told me and then I knew I had to make him hire you. He doesn’t know about you yet, but after this I will meet him and arrange everything. What do you say?”, Kai looked at him, waiting for his answer.

Uruha didn’t reply right away. He sat still for some time and went over everything again carefully. It was a chance, a big one, one he wouldn’t be offered again, he knew that. Kai was a good friend, but he helped only if the other wanted the help. Once he refused he would never be allowed to mention it again. But what choices did he have? It was either take Kai’s outstretched hand or sink with the ship. He knew his situation well enough. He had to agree.
“Tell me what you have planned.”, he asked. “What kind of deal are we talking about?”
“That is not clear yet. He might hire you for a fashion show. Matsumoto has it’s own agency for models, they do fashion shows all over Asia and recently they started on the US market. So he needs publicity, pictures in magazines and television and you might be the one to take the pictures of his models. I will tell him that you are the best for this job.”
“Because I’m your frie-“
“Because you are the best. That’s all. I will ask him tonight, so be prepared. I don’t when he will need you and where you have to go, but you have to be ready for it, okay?”, Kai looked at him, his hand outstretched to seal their deal, as it still was custom with business deals.

And Uruha took his hand. It was his chance, the one he had been waiting for. And because it was his old friend Kai, he had no doubt that everything would go well. He would do some photo shoots for the other and be able to pay his rent and bills again. And while doing this he could still search for other partners elsewhere. This deal wasn’t permanent, it would be maybe two or three times, but that was enough to help him now. Until he could manage everything alone again.

“Tell him it will only be temporary, okay?”
“I will, I will. But just one thing. He is still Japanese, so don’t introduce yourself with your Korean name. He could take it the wrong way.” Kai looked at him serious, looking much older than just 29.
“Why?”, Uruha exclaimed, very irritated by this request. “I always go by Uruha, I hate my Japanese name.”
“Just because your dad is Japanese and your mom Korean. It’s obvious on who’s side you stand. But please, just for now. He is a little spoiled brat after all. Well, sometimes.”, Kai mused, sunken in memories Uruha had no idea of and was glad that he hadn’t. He didn’t want to imagine his friend having sex with the midget. Or even kissing him.
“Okay, but only the name. I’m not good at speaking Japanese, you know that. My dad was not the best teacher.”, he agreed.
“No problem, he has gotten much better now, his English is nearly perfect so there won’t be any problem. In case you two meet, I’m not sure if you will though. He might just send you the papers now that I think of it. But still, sign with your Japanese name, okay?”

Uruha told him again he would. Then the visit was over. It was already past 2 and Kai needed to hurry now, his meeting was at 3:30 already and he hadn’t changed his clothes yet. Uruha told him he looked fine, but Kai was never really pleased with his clothes or hair or anything.
As soon as the other had left, Uruha finally took the shower he needed so much to clear his head. This day had been very informative so far, he knew things would go well from here. At least on business level. On personal level he wasn’t sure yet if it was a good idea to involve Kai that much in his problems. If his little affair with Takanori ended, his deal would too and maybe Takanori could sue Kai for not telling him everything. Okay, that was very unrealistic, but he had to consider all possibilities. And it might be one, even though it was not very likely to happen. But if they ‘broke up’ it would still be bad for Kai. He might be fired by his company and not able to find a job in another one. Branded as whore when it really was Takanori who couldn’t get enough of the other.
But he would have to wait and see. Kai was clever, he would find a way out of any crisis that occurred from now on. And Uruha would be careful too.

Now he had something to look forward too and forgotten were the dreams of the last weeks, everything seemed more normal than ever. His mind set on his new task, he finished showering, went back into his office and started to make plans for settings and costumes of his future models. Of course when dealing with someone like Matsumoto Takanori, you had to be prepared.

~~~~

Note: I am well aware that Uruha is not a korean name, but for the sake of the story, it has to be :)
In case someone didn't get it(and I didn't really explain it... right? oo''): Uruha's dad is japanese, his mom is korean. His full name is Uruha Kouyou Takashima. Kai's grandparents are japanese, but his dad was already born in america and his mom is american/white. That's why he has an 'american' name and a japanese one (Uruha could never be a american name, but with Kai it's different xD). So his full name is Kai Yutaka Uke.

icons

2007-08-29T20:12:47Z

[16] Mucc


1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

akita_ino @ 2007-05-20T23:38:00

2007-05-20T21:41:00Z

akita_ino @ 2007-05-20T00:46:00

2007-05-19T22:47:19Z

just something about myself ^^ some information about me, who I am, what I like and stuff~

♣ name ♣ no nickname (hm, should I make one myself? o.o what about... Yu-chan? that's nice ^^) okay, call me Yu-chan~
♣ gender ♣ I'm female (most of the time)
♣ sexuality ♣ into boys and girls~
♣ height ♣ 1,73m oder 1cm less
♣ eyes ♣ brown, little green
♣ hair ♣ short (yeah~), top is pink and the bottom black~
♣ birthday ♣ august (first week o.o make a guess)
♣ job ♣ going to college
♣ personality ♣ get to know me, I'm very nice and try to make people happy, don't like to be second best, get jealous easily, like to make presents, love music and going to concerts, read manga, watch anime, like yaoi ^^,

fin~

new day - new way

2007-05-19T22:04:04Z

hey o.o
first post in my new journal~
don't know, what to write. firts entry... hardest one ^^
I'm curious if someone will read this.. crap ^^ hehe
let's wait~
enough for today, maybe something 'bigger' will follow tomorrow. now I'm tired x..x
*hugs and kisses*