Title: The last Dance
Chapter: 1/?
Author:
akita_inoRating: overall NC17
Warnings: AU, angst, deathfic, sex
Characters: Gazette boys (pairing soon to be revealed)
Disclaimers: this is a work of fiction, I claim nothing to be true (I hope it’s not true), I make no profit with this and don’t intend to (if you want to give me something out of charity, I take it :) me prefers cookies~)
Summary:
Do you know what it feels like? For weeks Uruha hears the same sentence in his dreams and he doesn’t know what it means. Is there a meaning behind it or is he just stressed? He has problems with his job, there’s no money to pay the month’s rent and no solution in sight. Until his friend offers him something…Notes: sorry for the bad English, I don’t have a beta and wasn’t able to find one. If someone offers, I’ll take it :) This fic was inspired by a play I saw and I hope I can capture some of the feelings I had while watching and thinking of this story.
Sorry for the long and boring first chapter, but it’s the introduction of the first characters and the start of a chain of events essential for the rest of the fic. Don’t blink or you might miss the hints xD sorry… enjoy!
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Do you know what it feels like?
For days, weeks even, it had been the same exact sentence, always the same words and the same that asked him. He didn’t know who was asking him this question, what it was about, how he should answer, if he should answer. Not even what this person was referring to. But that was okay. Dreams didn’t need to make sense and for several weeks his clearly didn’t make any. At first it was just a little hindrance in his daily routine, he would wake up from the same dream three days in a row, but that was nothing to be worried about. It was never the exact same dream, that would have been too weird, but the dreams always seemed to be connected, like one continued where the other had stopped or one was a second version of another one some days ago. It was surreal, something he had never experienced before and was not too keen on to experience once again. That was at least what he told himself, when he woke up in the middle of the night, the eyes, the voice, the black hair still present in his mind. Why was it always the same person? Why always the same words?
He couldn’t find any meaning behind it. He did not know the person in his dreams and well, even if he did, how should he identify him? That much was clear, the voice in his head was male, but he never saw a full face or even a real body, just glimpses. Sometimes a hand, strands of hair, an eye, lips forming the words he spoke, but never the whole picture. How should he know what this person looked like, who he was? First he thought it might be someone from his work, one of the clients he had taken photos off for his last commission, but he couldn’t remember anyone who had looked even a little bit similar to this person. It might have been someone from a TV show, that was possible, but he never watched much television anyway and he would remember someone who left such a strong impression on him. He surely would.
First the dreams had been just a hindrance, but now they kept coming every night, even in the day when he was taking a nap or he dozing off in the train on his way to work and it was taking control over his life. What had happened to him and his existence? Every morning he woke up with the same thoughts running through his head, he could not eat breakfast without asking himself the same things over and over again, he saw this man every time he closed his eyes, when he looked into water for more than two seconds, he was going crazy. Without even knowing who was driving him to it. It felt like it. Never in his life had his thoughts been this dominated by one person, he was sure even when he was a baby he didn’t think about his mother as much as he thought about this man now. Even the people he had loved hadn’t been on his mind constantly. It was a new experience.
And the problem was, he wasn’t as angry about as he should be given the circumstances. His dreams were never violent or scary, just unreal, like dreams tended to be. Sometimes he looked forward to them, the challenge to figure out this man’s identity kept in mind. It was a game, a puzzle, one he wanted to solve. Never had he been confronted with such a challenge, not that he could remember and he wanted to prove, if only to himself, that he was able to work out a problem this difficult. He hadn’t told his friends about the dreams. Not that he had many friends to begin with, but even the closest didn’t know about the mysterious man haunting his dreams. He wanted to keep him to himself. And once he found out this guy, the meaning behind all of this, he would search him, find him and tell him. He would show him that would’ve been better not to play with him the way he had. This was no coincidence. This was on purpose, surely. And this man was the reason behind it, the one pulling the strings and controlling his life throughout his dreams.
He did not believe in fate. There was no thing as fate, destiny, fortune, whatever mankind had made up to control the people of their period. These words didn’t exist for him, there was no greater good and evil in the world, everything was the doing of an individual, sometimes more than one. And if you found the origin of something, you could stop it, whatever it was. Just eliminate the source. He didn’t call it a philosophy, but it was his way of thinking and how he managed his life. At least most of the time. Recently there were problems with his landlord. He hadn’t been able to pay his rent the last month and had borrowed some money from a friend. The loans weren’t the problem, but he was short again this month. His clients hadn’t paid the last assignment. He didn’t know how to fix this. He had called them every day for a week. Nothing. And now? He couldn’t borrow more money from his friend, he was too embarrassed about the whole thing. The first time too, but there had been no other choice. And now he had to search for another option, find something to get money from to earn enough for his rent. He couldn’t leave this place. He had moved in one year ago and now it was totally his realm.
His cameras, the darkroom for his films, the frames and pictures on every wall, it was all his doing, all his money he had used to make this apartment his, to show his personality and to get a professional working place. And even if he moved out, he still would have to pay this month’s rent. It didn’t matter if it was personal crisis or just general, economic crisis that caused his problems, they were there now and he was searching for a way to solve this problem.
It had just turned 11 as he sat down on his couch, turned on the TV and opened the newspaper of the day and flipped through the pages. Nothing too much interesting, at least not for him. He wasn’t interested in stockings and the general market situation, even though it proved his suspicion that economy was crashing down much faster than anyone had foreseen. It was a bad time for everyone. Still he felt a little sorry for himself to be born in this time. He sighed, closed the paper again and focused on television. War and crime was in every country. Countries he had never heard of before and never wanted to hear something about again. Other people’s misfortune made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to deal with other people’s problems. He had enough to do with his own. But something caught his interest. Not because it was really interesting, nothing new, but again more and more sects had formed in Japan in the last years, everyone talking of the Last Judgment and trying to deny god’s existence in the world and it was funny to see sects gaining power, while denying the one thing that gave them power over their believers. Without god, there was no real believe in his opinion.
But it was something to entertain him every once in a while. It was Monday again. Still nothing to do. He had written so many letters to magazines and agencies, but none had been returned yet. He wasn’t getting desperate, not yet, but slowly he could feel the walls getting closer. He needed a commission. The sooner the better. So he did what he always did, when there was nothing to do. He organized his office again, looked through all his photos and arranged them new. He also made a new sedcard, which he sent to the magazines and agencies to show his skills, as application. Every time he did this he thought he had found pictures to show his skills better and that he surely would be successful this time. But he had yet to be right. Today was also a bad day because it was raining outside; the rain was loud against the glass of the windows and life seemed even more boring and pointless than on a sunny day. Television bored him, even though it had been able to distract him for some minutes. Now what should he do? A shower seemed the best idea. Under the soothing fall of warm water he had the best ideas, he could distract himself from everything that bothered him.
On the way to his bathroom his doorbell rang. No time for a shower, at least not yet. It was still early, so it probably was only the postman, bringing new letters with advertisements and maybe something from his bank. Just some weeks ago he had taken all the money from his account. The bank might be complaining now about the empty account, which was probably below zero at the moment. But there was no use crying over spilled milk. He went to his door, opened it for his guest and smiled immediately at the person before him.
“Sir, might it be that you took the wrong door?” he said smiling and let the other inside.
“You know Sir, I really might be wrong, I thought a friend of mine was living here, but when I look at you sir, and I hope you take no offense in that, you look more like the fading reflection of the man I call my friend.” He smiled also, going with the joke.
They had been friends for a long time already and nothing ever had come between them, not woman or cars, fame, money, they still remained the same. And that was something Uruha was glad about. After college, in college it had already started, friends had dumped him pretty harshly for other friends, better friends with more money and more status. But his true friend had always remained and for that he was still grateful.
After college, where he had been a nobody without a secure home because of his constant fights with his father, which resulted in him running away from home and refusing money from his mom, who was so desperate and worried about him, so the only money he had was from different part time jobs, he had started a promising career as photographer. Soon he had earned a lot of money, gained more friends and the status of a VIP in his business. He had felt like a rock star, just without the music. At least for some time. Soon others had come and he had been a small fish in a big glass again. But even after these years without contact, he had turned back to his old friend and he had still been welcome.
“What is the purpose of your visit today?”, he asked as they went through the hall, into the living room and made themselves comfortable on the big couch and chair in front of the television.
First his friend remained still, just looked at him smiling and grabbed the newspaper from the table in front of him. “I assume you haven’t read the last pages of the newspaper yet.”, he said, turned the newspaper around and continued without waiting for an answer. He knew the answer anyway, in this point his friend hadn’t changed over the years. The newspaper was interesting, yeah, for the first 5 pages maybe. “You see, Shinstar Dynamics is losing its investors pretty rapidly. The stocks are going down at the speed of light. It’s a massacre. Do you now what is going on at the stock exchange? They want to sell everything as soon as possible, nobody wants to keep it, and therefore it’s losing value every second.”, he said and looked kind of flustered.
“I know Shinstar Dynamics and I know the products pretty well, but why would I need to know that?”, Uruha asked a little confused. He didn’t know what his friend was referring to.
“You have always been a little dense, but that’s okay. Like you should know, my father makes his money in the same business and has always favored Shinstar products. He used them in his stores. Around 73% of everything he sold was produced by Shinstar.”, his friend told him again. And yeah, at that moment he remembered it, of course he knew his friend’s family quite well, but he hadn’t been in contact with them for years, it should be normal and understandable to forget such details. But his friend didn’t seem to be offended by his words.
“Does that mean your father has problems now because he lost his business partner?”, he asked.
“Well, it’s not easy to find a new company in such a short time. He still has a lot of Shinstar products, but he can’t sell them anymore. The problem is that the boss of Shinstar seems to be involved in some very interesting trades with other companies and he probably bribed some people in the government. But nothing official has been released yet.”, his friend said in a low voice and seemed far off with his thoughts for a second.
“Bad news for you, hm?”, he asked. He didn’t really know what to do; he had never been good at comforting people, especially not his friends. Usually they knew how to take care of themselves and managed every possible situation just fine without help.
“But, you know”, he suddenly started again after some minutes of silence. “I think dad will manage it. Other companies are trying to fill Shinstar’s place and make profit out of the situation. So every former partner of Shinstar should be able to find a suitable substitute. That is how it has always been.” He said now smiling again and with that the topic was closed for the moment.
It seemed strange to Uruha that his friend had even started with this topic if he didn’t really want to talk about it. But that was typical of his friend. Sometimes it was for himself too. They were men, they talked about some things, but not about other things, especially not if emotions were involved. But he would ask again later, his friend seemed troubled by the news and there was probably more behind it than just a little concern for his dad’s business. That was obvious. At the other hand he did not want to pres the issue. He wasn’t that interested in his friend’s private life, sometimes you had to respect borders and not cross them.
“And what else brings you to my doorstep on this lovely Monday?”, he asked to change the topic.
“Oh yeah, I forgot!”, he said with new enthusiasm. “The real surprise about the whole Shinstar affair is that a new group announced that they would take over Shinstar’s business. And not just the main production, everything. In the next 2 years they want to invest a total of 500 million dollars to preserve jobs and pay back the dept of Shinstar.”
That was a real surprise. Which company would do that? And why? It was clear that Shinstar had serious problems right now. Not just with money, their image was not the best anymore and why would a company spent that much money to keep another company alive? Especially one like Shinstar, which obviously had some affairs with the mafia and interference with politics.
“Why would another company do that? And where did you hear that? Are you sure your information is right?”, Uruha asked. He was curious about this deal. He might have some problems with money, his business was not taking the economic crisis very well, but it seemed in other branches business was as usual. “In these times, what company can afford to invest that much money?”
“Well…”, his friend said smiling. “There is only one with the needed money and the manager to dare something like that. Matsumoto incorporated.”
How well he knew that name. One of the biggest companies in East Asia, probably the biggest outside of Europe and America. But why would a Japanese company take over an American one with a bad image? Of course, had Shinstar been just an ordinary company that lost it’s money and became bankrupt, then it would be totally understandable for a foreign company to take over their business. But Shinstar wasn’t an ordinary company, not anymore. It was a great risk in such a situation, one Uruha himself would have never dared to take. And he knew about the business, he had majored in business economics and management. And his friend had too. Now it was clear what this visit was about.
“I mean, that’s big news. Why would Matsumoto do something like that? Their business is doing great, last year they had a plus of 19%, that’s enormous these days, you know that. Why risk everything with this deal?” He didn’t really know what to make out of this behavior. Was nobody concerned for the company’s future? They had been doing great so far and now? What would happen to them now? Reputation, status were still very important in Asian culture and in American culture too, if even just a small thing went wrong, they might lose everything and disappear.
“You know, Matsumoto senior has always been that way, he never took any risks and stayed in his fields, with his people. He is a typical Japanese man of his time. Or should I say ‘was’”, said his friend and in that instant knew what had happened. And he was surprised his own father hadn’t called him already.
“You mean his son has…?”
“Yeah, he has taken over. Matsumoto Takahiro passed away. It was a heart attack, when he attended one of his meetings with his business partners. That was one month ago. And now you see why everything happened the way it did.”
Now everything made sense. What he had thought before was wrong, totally wrong. Matsumoto incorporated was now led by the son of the founder, Matsumoto Takanori and that meant a lot of trouble for Uruha. Not really trouble, but his dad would call him soon and demand to take his life seriously at last and try to enter the new company, which would form out of Matsumoto and Shinstar. There was no doubt his friend had come to tell him that and maybe rescue him from his fate. Because in his current situation, he couldn’t say no to his father much longer. He had no money and if he didn’t earn some soon, he would have to ask him for money and his dad would surely play his cards well in that situation. Because of this news his friend had come to him, Uruha was sure of it.
“And you came to rescue me, right?”, he asked hopefully, looking at his friend, already a little desperation visible in his eyes. “You didn’t go to law school for nothing, right? There has to be a way out? My father can’t trick me into this!”
“You underestimate your father, Uruha. He already called me and wanted to make sure I told you again what he expects of you. I’m not a fan of him either, you know that, but you have to look at your situation. How much longer can you keep going? I already gave you money last month. You are my friend and I would do anything to help you, but you are not the only one who has bills to pay.”, his voice was sad and it was clear how much he wanted to help Uruha, but was unable to now. He also had his own apartment and because of his job he had to travel a lot for his company, he didn’t have the time to stay at Uruha’s side and help him with his problems. His friends family was rich, Uruha’s wasn’t. But both of their dads expected a lot of their sons.
His friend continued without paying real attention to Uruha. He didn’t say it to hurt him but to inform him of his options. “You know what your father sacrificed your years in college. He made your scholarship possible, without it you wouldn’t have been able to go to college. Well, at least not the one we went to and you know that.”
“Of course I know that! But I thought I had paid him back already by taking over the loan for his house after I finished college. He got a lot of money from me and that was all he ever wanted! He wanted me to be famous, so he could have a nice life with my money!”, Uruha was getting louder, he was furious and still angry at his father. For years he had treated him bad, especially after Uruha had informed him of his wish to become a photographer. For years they had refused to speak with each other.
“You are both bullet heads and you can’t deny that it would have been better to make up years ago when your mother was still alive. At least for her sake. Or mine. I’m the one who has to put up with your shit every time you decide to launch an attack at your dad. Or when he does the same to you. I’m tired of it.”, he said calmly, but also a bit louder than before.
And Uruha knew he was right. He wasn’t really mad at his father anymore, he loved him of course, but they never got along very well, because they were so different. Uruha was more a younger version of his mother. She had been an artist, had studied art history and worked at a museum. She had been very friendly and forgiving towards her son and when he decided he wanted to be a photographer, she had encouraged him to live his dream. Of course silently, so his dad wouldn’t notice it.
His dad on the other hand had been furious with him. A photographer was not what his dad had wanted him to be. In his eyes Uruha should have been a businessman, just like himself. Run a small company by himself or work for a big one and make it to the top there. That had been his father’s dream.
“Uruha… you know your dad loves you. Maybe you should give it a try? I mean, you are clever, you graduated top of the whole state, that’s not bad, they would surely hire you. Why-“
“Because I don’t want to!”, he said in a serious voice. “Why would I now enter a company? I’m nearly 30, I know what I want to do and it’s not what my father expects of me. I’m sorry if that causes him grief, but it’s my decision. It was never his, even though he might think it was.” And with that it was final. He would stand up for his life and not do what other people wanted him to do. He was stubborn, yes, he knew that, but he considered it one of his better traits of character. He could live with being called stubborn. He cast a glance at his friend, but after one second looked at the wall again. He was sorry, his friend just wanted to help him and he appreciated the effort, but there was nothing to discuss anymore, his decision was final and everyone else would have to live with that. His friend, his family. And he would need to find a way to earn money again, to show them he was capable of taking care of himself.
His friend laughed a little, settled against the armrest. He looked more than pleased, which caused Uruha to stare at him confused.
“What’s so funny about that?”
“I had hoped you wouldn’t back down. The Uruha I met at college would never do what other people told him. Well, I’m an exception to that rule of course.”, he laughed again and Uruha couldn’t stop himself from smirking.
Yeah, that was Kai, always the clever one, the little evil one with the face of an angle. You could never trust him. And Uruha loved that about him.
“Asshole.”, he said smirking, reached over and punched his friend playfully. “I nearly had a heart attack.”
“I would never betray you like that. I was very close to tell your father to fuck himself. But my good manners kept me from doing it. And he would have called my dad. But yeah, that’s not the point. You know you have problems and you need help, because no way in hell you would be able to earn the money you need right now. But here’s your friend to the rescue!”, he exclaimed with a pleased expression.
Uruha though wasn’t so sure about that yet. “You need to tell me more than that. I know that I need help, but how do you plan to help me with my little financial problem?”
“Oh, that’s easy. Remember when I was in Princeton? Well, I didn’t tell you everything about the six months I spent there.”, Kai said mysteriously, a small smile still on his lips.
Uruha looked at him more confused than ever. “I remember your research project you did in Princeton.”
“I told you that I met Takanori Matsumoto there, right?”
“Yes, you did. That’s why my dad is trying to convince you to help me get into the company, because he thinks you might be able to help a little. But it’s been years since you met him there, he wouldn’t remember you.”, Uruha said, shaking his head.
“Your dad is right. I’m still in contact with Takanori. To be exact, I screw him.” These casually spoken words made Uruha speechless for nearly a minute. He didn’t know what to say to that, had he even heard right? He looked at his friend for some seconds, searching his face for something suspicious. He probably shouldn’t believe him, Kai was known for his jokes and tricks sometimes, but he had already tricked Uruha with the talk about his dad, he wouldn’t do it twice in such a short time, right? And not with such a topic.
“Are you serious?
Kai nodded. “Yes, I am. Well, how should I put this… when we both where at Princeton, he wanted to be my friend. You know he is very clever and graduated at only 19. At that time he was only 17 and very insecure of himself. He didn’t speak English very well, so he desperately wanted some Asian friends to talk to and hang out with. He wasn’t familiar with American culture yet.”
Uruha listened carefully. He couldn’t really understand why their conversation had taken such a turn. It was not the problem of Kai being involved with another guy, both men had confessed at an early time of their friendship that they would also go for guys. But why this one? He had seen pictures of Takanori Matsumoto, he wasn’t bad looking, but he was very short and seemed really shy and immature for his age. He was now 23, he should be able to make decisions for himself. And now that his father was dead, he had to manage a company.
“So of course he decided I would be a good friend for him too. My name and all. He didn’t know I was born in America and already a third generation and when he started talking to me in Japanese, I understood nothing. Still, we got along, kind of; it was hard because we couldn’t really understand each other but soon I noticed his interest in me and so we played around the remaining months. And he still likes me and keeps contact.”
“If that is true, why are you not entering his company? If there is still something going on between you two.”, Uruha asked. At least it would be the thing he would think about first. He wasn’t a bad person, if feelings were involved, he would never consider it. But Kai didn’t seem to be in love. “Wouldn’t your dad be happy? Kai Yutaka Uke fucking Takanori Matsumoto-new business dream-couple.”, Uruha mused aloud.
In return Kai laughed so hard some tears build in his eyes, which he whipped away quickly. “He wouldn’t be happy. But it has its benefits to fuck the now manager of such a big company. He is still a child and he doesn’t see what he will cause with this Shinstar deal. I didn’t say anything to him. He will make his mistakes by himself and stand up for it, sooner or later.”, he shrugged.
No, Kai was not in love with Takanori, that was obvious and Uruha was glad about it. Most of the time your feelings made you weak and vulnerable. In this business you couldn’t afford to provide somebody with a target.
“And I will help you. Because of Takanori’s little fancy I will ask him to hire you for his next collection. Did you know Matsumoto has a fashion branch? No? Thought so. I didn’t know until he told me and then I knew I had to make him hire you. He doesn’t know about you yet, but after this I will meet him and arrange everything. What do you say?”, Kai looked at him, waiting for his answer.
Uruha didn’t reply right away. He sat still for some time and went over everything again carefully. It was a chance, a big one, one he wouldn’t be offered again, he knew that. Kai was a good friend, but he helped only if the other wanted the help. Once he refused he would never be allowed to mention it again. But what choices did he have? It was either take Kai’s outstretched hand or sink with the ship. He knew his situation well enough. He had to agree.
“Tell me what you have planned.”, he asked. “What kind of deal are we talking about?”
“That is not clear yet. He might hire you for a fashion show. Matsumoto has it’s own agency for models, they do fashion shows all over Asia and recently they started on the US market. So he needs publicity, pictures in magazines and television and you might be the one to take the pictures of his models. I will tell him that you are the best for this job.”
“Because I’m your frie-“
“Because you are the best. That’s all. I will ask him tonight, so be prepared. I don’t when he will need you and where you have to go, but you have to be ready for it, okay?”, Kai looked at him, his hand outstretched to seal their deal, as it still was custom with business deals.
And Uruha took his hand. It was his chance, the one he had been waiting for. And because it was his old friend Kai, he had no doubt that everything would go well. He would do some photo shoots for the other and be able to pay his rent and bills again. And while doing this he could still search for other partners elsewhere. This deal wasn’t permanent, it would be maybe two or three times, but that was enough to help him now. Until he could manage everything alone again.
“Tell him it will only be temporary, okay?”
“I will, I will. But just one thing. He is still Japanese, so don’t introduce yourself with your Korean name. He could take it the wrong way.” Kai looked at him serious, looking much older than just 29.
“Why?”, Uruha exclaimed, very irritated by this request. “I always go by Uruha, I hate my Japanese name.”
“Just because your dad is Japanese and your mom Korean. It’s obvious on who’s side you stand. But please, just for now. He is a little spoiled brat after all. Well, sometimes.”, Kai mused, sunken in memories Uruha had no idea of and was glad that he hadn’t. He didn’t want to imagine his friend having sex with the midget. Or even kissing him.
“Okay, but only the name. I’m not good at speaking Japanese, you know that. My dad was not the best teacher.”, he agreed.
“No problem, he has gotten much better now, his English is nearly perfect so there won’t be any problem. In case you two meet, I’m not sure if you will though. He might just send you the papers now that I think of it. But still, sign with your Japanese name, okay?”
Uruha told him again he would. Then the visit was over. It was already past 2 and Kai needed to hurry now, his meeting was at 3:30 already and he hadn’t changed his clothes yet. Uruha told him he looked fine, but Kai was never really pleased with his clothes or hair or anything.
As soon as the other had left, Uruha finally took the shower he needed so much to clear his head. This day had been very informative so far, he knew things would go well from here. At least on business level. On personal level he wasn’t sure yet if it was a good idea to involve Kai that much in his problems. If his little affair with Takanori ended, his deal would too and maybe Takanori could sue Kai for not telling him everything. Okay, that was very unrealistic, but he had to consider all possibilities. And it might be one, even though it was not very likely to happen. But if they ‘broke up’ it would still be bad for Kai. He might be fired by his company and not able to find a job in another one. Branded as whore when it really was Takanori who couldn’t get enough of the other.
But he would have to wait and see. Kai was clever, he would find a way out of any crisis that occurred from now on. And Uruha would be careful too.
Now he had something to look forward too and forgotten were the dreams of the last weeks, everything seemed more normal than ever. His mind set on his new task, he finished showering, went back into his office and started to make plans for settings and costumes of his future models. Of course when dealing with someone like Matsumoto Takanori, you had to be prepared.
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Note: I am well aware that Uruha is not a korean name, but for the sake of the story, it has to be :)
In case someone didn't get it(and I didn't really explain it... right? oo''): Uruha's dad is japanese, his mom is korean. His full name is Uruha Kouyou Takashima. Kai's grandparents are japanese, but his dad was already born in america and his mom is american/white. That's why he has an 'american' name and a japanese one (Uruha could never be a american name, but with Kai it's different xD). So his full name is Kai Yutaka Uke.
More, please!